I hate this expression
Ultimate Sacrifice
it sounds like they gave up their parking space

Ultimate Sacrifice
They are gone
dead
rotting in ground

And no one gave it much thought
Before.

It seems to me:
India is trying to catch China
China is trying to catch the United States
The United States is trying to catch its own tail.
Why worry about global warming?
So far, this global warming thing has been pretty anti-climatic.
I mean, have you personally seen polar bears washing up on the beach?
No?
I didn't think so.
Monsanto, Walmart, Exxon and all others the likes of you
Let's ruin the world.
Why not?
I want the American Dream
a big house, a lot of stuff, and a gun to protect it.
Kill it
Fuck it
The news on TV - wars and terrorism
They don't believe in the same things as you and me.
Support the troops - Are you shitting me?
Capitalism - growth for the sake of growth is the philosophy of the cancer cell.
Go Wall Street go!
Aren't they a bunch of responsible individuals?
Raping the bank accounts of whoever so they can make their billions.

We want to "good ol' days" back!
I remember in college when my friend Bill Finance swallowed five handfuls Taster's Choice freeze-dried before taking a final exams and puking 15 minutes later.
I remember when Jerry Magnuson chugged a bottle of ketchup with a shot of vodka in it
I remember when Bill Nally drank the bong water
I remember the thrill of coming as soon as I got it in.
We want to return to the glory days muscle cars
We want to go back to Mayberry
But we can't
It's time to rip out that rear view mirror
and concentrate on the road ahead
But why look ahead?
Why fix this mess?
After all, the 21st century is a lie.
It's only a date on the Gregorian calendar.
2000 years after the birth of Jesus
It takes faith....
Bald old men wearing red beanies and dresses blowing white smoke
for 1.5 billion followers
...And in the other corner.... wearing beards and praying five times a day,
with white turbans, with enough intelligence to build a bomb
and still believing in 72 virgins in heaven!
Fucking stupid men!
People today...
with enough intelligence putting a man on the moon 44 years ago, now contemplating going to Mars
People with enough intelligence to clone an sheep and call it Dolly
Astrophysicists and cosmologists theorize the beginning of the universe, quantum mechanics and string theory.

But people need to believe in something....
believe in something more than their car's airbags
We want to believe in this timeless omnipresent invisible being.
Someone or Something we can identify with.
Someone or Something close to but greater than us.
We want to believe in our own eternity.

We can't face up to the facts.
Meanwhile, this place is getting more fucked up each day.

A 360-degree blue sky beach day
Not a cloud or trouble to be found
The sun high and hot
Soaking into her bronze-tanned body
"You still look fabulous in a bikini," I said
My sincere compliment was returned with her beaming smile.

We walked lightly across the hot sand
Towards the restless water's edge
Gazing out at endless tide
Hearing to the sounds of the crashing waves
Taking in the unique smell of the sea
Some seagulls squawked and circled about

She carried the blanket
I manned the heavy cooler
We made our way down to the cool wet sand
There were countless smooth stones
and shells of all kinds to examine
The waves lapped our toes

Turing left, we walked along the beach
Spying a point in distance
Sometimes eyeing each other
"Keep going," I said.
Occasionally looking back at our footprints
Observing how far we've come together

Finally, we reached a secluded spot of our choice
Far away from the bright-colored beach umbrellas, beach chairs, noisy kids, and blaring radios.
We were now as alone as we could be on a beach day
We knew what we were there to do --
Or at least I knew what I wanted.
By this time we were already hot and sweaty

Spreading out the blanket created the mood
Like being swept away on a deserted island
We settled in on our oasis
All of your senses are heightened at the beach
The sense of sight, touch and smell.
Everything tastes better - anticipation rising

I love it wet,
Sweet, juicy
A nice pink color
A little sticky
Eat and wash your face at the same time
Watermelon is amazing

When I first saw you
I couldn't take my eyes off of you.
You shined, behind the glass
untouchable
unreachable
So far off....
I felt like a barefoot desert wanderer
afraid of mirages,
I gazed upon you
my oasis,
I watched you from afar
staring at your beauty and style
I had to hold you - to have you
Vowing to do whatever it took.
Dreaming of being inside you
Having you would be worth any effort
You - beyond my current means
I pushed on - you were my quest
Building up my courage to one day approach you
But to have you, it would take overtime
I was like a mountain climber - unstoppable
Who's obsession is to reach the peak

And, I remember that night
The night I took you home for the very first time
Your touch, your smooth skin
I loved your smell, the way your tongue felt
Finally the time came
the way you loosened and tightened

Oh, how I love my new shoes.

Fear lies, she lays down to face another fearful untruth
She doesn’t love him
She tells herself this
Daily, while crying and begging him not to leave.
The curtains twitch on the opposite side of the street
The neighbours aren’t nosy
They tell themselves this
As they watch beady eyed the man opposite leave
Again and again, like an awful refrain in a song that all hate
Somewhere over the rainbow…

He loves her, he really does, passionately, definitely
He has love
He tells himself this
As he reaches into his hidden pocket for the money for the whore
She loves her job, loves her customers, loves what she does
She works happily
She tells herself this
As the bruises settle and the penicillin clears the rash
It’s the cash
Somewhere over the rainbow…

god is good, god is life the priest weeps with purity
as he drinks the blood
He tells god this
and pisses over the innocence of children
A lifetime of guilt, raped by a higher power
Not a higher self
Wishing to be someone else
He can’t watch children's TV anymore
The church roof needs fixing
Somewhere over the rainbow…
Telling ourselves things we do not believe.

He was a wolf man, howling at his glorious reflection
Refusing to bow, confused at the rejection
He suffered because he ate hearts and livers, raw and coppery
And the fear filled victims eyes trapped in his animosity
He began to enjoy being alone, like the bulb hypnotized moth
His eyes glorious and amazed, his mouth a viral, bloody froth
Then he saw her, calming like moonlight strewn across a lake
A voice like a bell, her perfume left burning eyes in its wake
He was sensitive to her, animal sense, he wanted to change
His preternatural heart beat begging for a life rearranged
He wanted to enjoy TV dinners, tired of the rawness of flesh
Wanted every ounce of his freedom crushed, until only she was left
To collide in him, show pride in him, deride him and be his guide
To take the beast by its crimson wild heart and unveil a different side
Of life he’d not yet encountered, where he had a love replacing lust
Where choices were bestowed and the beast would turn to dust
Wolf man scribbled his first words, painfully illegible, but so liquid clear
In blood and guts and the dark ink of the heart, so pure in its fear
…
Love me, say you do or at least that you can
So that the flowers may bloom, fragrant and comforting
And my sleep will be a dream filled glorious span
So the dark shadows in the corners will not come creeping

I told them the moon would crack
The crowd growled a hideous laugh
The sea came home, swallowed them whole
My turn to laugh, the moon and its crack laughed back
The dead have tales to tell
But no mouths to speak
The ears of the weak
Miss the words of the past
As the waves crash upon their heads
Trapped in Mishima's mask
Confessing nothing, focused on the task
Of talking to oneself
The truth buried on a cheap shelf
In a cheap room of a poor house
The dead voices calling someone else
Unheard, "come to us, the earth's warm"
Devoid of love as they are devoid of form
There are no record players in hell
And everyone wears tracksuits waiting the ringing bell
"Run boys run! The future is behind you!"
And they do what dogs do
Run blindly after the tasteless stick of life
Forgetting what it was really like
A child stepping barefooted in shit in the park
And the dead still moan from their corner dark
Telling me who they're waiting for.

Everyone wants
to into Heaven
but nobody
wants to go today
Everyone wants
to be Free
but we can't even get in a drive a car
without wearing a seat belt
Freedom
What you mean?
Everyone wants to Love
and be loved
by someone else
once in a while
at least

I can’t do this any more. Not even for you. Not even for the McDonald’s Happy Meal you buy me after we have sex every Saturday afternoon. Do you know I only eat the cookies? Do you know that I drop the fries down the holes in the sink? I drop them one by one. Not two by two like Noah’s animals. On their own. Solitary. Lone. Loaning your copy of The Waste Land to anyone who will take it. You tell me to stick to Ovid. I tell you to proof-read Prufrock and draft a new ending for us. You kiss me and still, behind your back, I drop each fry down the sink. When you make love to me you watch your reflection in my dilated pupils. And when you shower I rummage through your sock drawer. Exposing your secrets to the world. Reading the contents of your ark of the covenant. You read to me. From Moby Dick. Always Moby Dick, never Pinocchio or Peter Pan. I try to tell you that I prefer Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. But you hush me. It is your silence. And who am I to break it? I’m not anyone. I am occasionally Emily Dickinson. But the difference is that I can dance on my toes. Life is ‘full as opera'. I think about asking you but it’s late and my toes have gone to sleep between your ankles. In the jade night I can almost believe you love me.

I.
Passing by,
I chanced to espy
The ever-flowing winding river
Beside the ancient shrine of Iriso
I recall my fateful fascination
As if a spell was cast on me
By spirits that dwelled therein.
A voiceless call it was
To clasp my hands
As if in inevitable prayer
To the deities sheltered there -
And then to grasp
The dangling rope
To sound the gong
Of conclusive stance
And receive respite from griefs and wants.

II.
Passing by,
Decades on beyond Iriso
I chanced to espy
The ever-winding narrowing river
Beside which a glistening cathedral tree,
The Ginkgo biloba, blazed its galactic glory
Shrouding all that once graced the riverbank.
A sudden call it was
A great awakening
As the mind unfurled its unintentional stream
Of lived moments of frolic and swirling mounds
Of glorious ginkgo foliage at Chikozan -
Where once you beckoned me
To come surrender all
To the locked charms of touch and thrill --
A benediction of union and joy fulfill

Like the fan-shaped leaf,
A union of twin spheres --
A brief reminder of life's golden hues as I grieve
Each passing fall and fallen leaves.

I thought I'd weigh in on suicide bombers as they regularly seem to be in the news. I really don't get all this religious stuff: Christians, Moslems and Jews. God may be great, if you look at Him that way, but religion shouldn't be anything to lose your head over, as many people do.

Don't get me wrong about suicide bombers, I appreciate their enthusiasm for what they do. Though a short-lived vocation -- a poor career choice. Supposedly at the end of life there is a place called Heaven. Located up there . . . somewhere . . . beyond the visible darkness we see at night -- a place beyond the infinite universe. And if it's that Paradise you believe that you'll go by blowing up market full of people, you are deluding yourself. Believing that Heaven exists is one thing, but really there is really isn't any proof. Another real possibility is all this God stuff could just be a man-made hoax. And as for the 37 virgins promised, virgins may not be great as what they are cracked up to be. I mean, after all, after a suicide bomber explodes he can't take along that shoehorn he put in his vest.

I've been lost and found, and lost too many times to count. In my case, instead of having a life-goal of someday becoming successful suicide bomber, as a boy, I wanted to become an archer, but was never good. My teacher said "be the the arrow, straight and true." But I was bent. Beside, I felt arrows were just being used. My teacher said, "Be the bow." But I saw bows too bent on their own power. This is more for Olympians, politician and corporate CEOs. Finally. my teacher said, "Face it Joe, you, like the vast majority, are the target. One time, I shot an arrow straight up into the air, it came down so close -- had it come down in my head, I would have been dead. From that time on, I consider myself lucky, not bright.

I thought I'd weigh in on suicide bombers as they regularly seem to be in the news. We in the West condemn them for blowing themselves up with supposedly the innocent to make their point. Well, maybe there are no saints. Maybe, we are all just sinners here. We all become what is around us. But if I may let me make a plea: "Dear suicide bomber, everyone is brainwashed. Please let us each reach natural death rinse cycle and enjoy our short life. We are all equal in the end.

I thought I'd weigh in on suicide bombers as they regularly seem to be in the news. Why would God want a suicide bomber as a neighbor? Would you? God maybe forgiving and all but he does have final judgement especially who he wants to live next to. With all the assholes in this world, it would seems that heaven would be a very lonely place.

Saw an old street, cobbled, Conan Doylish
Wife talking to cruel man in a hat bigger than my dreams
Its width unfathomable
He has a gun, wants to use it
Feel its heat, like a cock
Hand jerking
Gloves on, sweaty rabbit fur
I never wake up
This isn't a third grade horror story
It does not feel like a dream
The dead smiling
The street winding a pathway to the dark
I scream, possibly
The silence swims, scream swallowed
Ectoplasm burst
The pillow unwelcome in its featheriness
Shoot, fucking shoot
The wait is killing me
Like life
Like life
Don't like
Unlike
Dislike
Living.

I'm up to my neck in social networks
My face on Facebook
I Twitter and Tweet like a parakeet
I have a space on MySpace
I'm online
I'm Linked in
Posting what I had for lunch
and photos of my cat
Clicking "Like" for a picture of your dog taking a nap
So many Facebook friends, it's hard to keep track of
You poke me
so I poke back
LOL and I'm Laugh My Ass Off at poking possibilities

I'm surfing the World Wide Web
I'm searching for what matters on the Internet
browsing with Safari, Firefox and Outlook Express
Google search, Yahoo, and YouTube too
Wikipedia, like God, knows everything
On the Net, I found out Einstein wasn't all that bright
Because watching porn, time goes by at the speed of light
But the 5 seconds it takes to wait to "Skip This Ad" feels like eternity
Now that's Relatively

How times have changed!
I used to read books
I used to do drugs
Now I'm taking trips on the Internet
I've farmed in Farmville and fought in Mafia Wars
I've traveled the world using Google maps
Instagram - posting photos with bad effects
Tumblr - standing, I haven't fallen yet
Pinterest - content that bores me to death
Bing isn't my thing
Chrome ain't my home
And Google Plus somehow just doesn't add up

I recently read how YouTube, Twitter and Facebook are teaming up
to create an super-mega social network
called YouTwitFace
Awesome!

Oh, whiskey glass
You ol' bastard,
Venom poured from a bottle
Making me remember,
so as I can forget
Oh, how I despise the past
All you do is make me sad

Oh, whiskey glass
What the devil must drink
Coaxing me
I'm easily persuaded
"Have another", then another
A drunken grin morphs my face

Oh, whiskey glass
You ol' pal,
Now liquid gold
Dazzling in the glass
and new my best-est friend
The hour passes, words slur . . .
thoughts dizzy into slide blur

Oh, empty whiskey glass
You heartless prick, you shameless slut
For again opening a heart's old break
Again showing her face
at the bottom of my empty glass
The way she sometimes appears in my dreams

To these green hills
I came - not knowing
If I would find the thrills
I left behind - quivering
I climbed aboard
And swiftly tied the knot.

Warm tropical breezes
From whence I came - trailing
Across the southern seas
They bade me ride along - whispering
My name in soft refrain
Like blessed cleansing rain.

To these enchanted hills
I came and stayed - flaunting
The distant call so shrill
That all things depart like summer's passing -
Alone, I touch the autumn air
Be that my sweet despair.

We fell out of Love
Love's illusion just dimmed
Flowers wilt without fault
*
Hearing something often enough
Any illusion becomes reality
In silence, truth is obvious

1
From table to floor
Empty beer can falls
Clank!
Such a sad song

2
Our love fumbled
around for a while
The game got messy
Neither team played well
like on Monday night football

1
While on my feet
I know everything
Sitting zazen, I know nothing

2
The difference between
life and death is breath
Let's enjoy food and drink together

Whiskey
I raise my glass
"Cheers!"
To all my days past . . .
when my worldly wants were never enough.
Shopping malls, shiny cars, even mowing the lawn
chasing after. . .
like a dog chasing its tail
I raise my glass to days past . . .
when believing in delusions seemed real

Saké
Saké cup empties
til I hear Buddha laughing
I wish a good death

1
cut out their eyes
peel off their skin
boil them in oil
fry or grill them
They remain silent
They offer no struggle
They cannot scream
baked
crushed
smashed
mashed
hashed
Violence potatoes

2
Standing erect
succulent
an aphrodisiac
green with envy
herbaceous and perennial
a vegetable lily
You are my little asparagus

3
Who likes green peas?
No me
Yucky little things rolling about on my plate
Pushed around
Bullied by fork and spoon
Peas are like the homeless -
unwanted
insignificant
Even the name "pea" -
Generally, something you don't want in your mouth

But look at the bright side
at the small pile of can corn on your plate
bright, sweet, yellow kernels
like gold coins on your plate
Everyone loves corn
The Silver Queen of vegetables
Mouth watering
corn on the cob
With butter...
and the places some people put it
I've seen it on the internet

But perhaps it's time to explore
the rich vegetables helping the poor
Mixing them together
a redistribution of the Garden of Eden's wealth
Mixing them -
'til together as one
A recipe for how much better the world might be.
Gold and Green
Green and Gold
Tumbling
Orgy on our plate
Peas and corn
We'll call it PORN

I wonder if Orwell is rolling over in his grave
Though I still do picture his body rotting away
much like our world of today.
Oh my, we're in such a state of decay!
I don't believe in resurrection,
I don't believe in karma,
I don't believe in reincarnation
I don't believe in heaven or hell
I believe, for better or worse,
we have only one life
No one dies twice
Nor do I imagine Orwell's desire to revisit Earth
Amid predictions of our planet's global warming hell
Rather, I picture him in his coffin
his skeletal arms pounding away
Orwell voicing these words (or perhaps even with his pen)
"I told you so!"
"Nineteen Eighty-four," written in 1948, actually not that long ago
the tyranny of The Party and its totalitarian ideology
So here we are in 2013
Somewhere in time
between Orwell's nightmare - the orthodoxy of not thinking
Where groupthink replaces thoughtcrime
THE REVOLUTION IS NO REVOLUTION
and a dreamer's dream

I wonder if Orwell is rolling over in his grave
Lunacy is the last rebellion
And only the lunatic has the freedom to say
2 + 2 = 4
Not 5

Arm-in-arm, past brass numbered doors
The hallway's path
Our shameless steps to our private safe harbor
A quick double-check of our room card key
No, this hotel ain't the Ritz
Walls of unknown thickness
Green light signal
Our room door unlocks with a click
Flick on the nearest light switch
Voilá
The bed
Mad kisses
Undoing snaps
Sliding my hand under her dress
Our bodies melt
We came here for the bed

Some people are so sensitive
They hurt
but they couldn't hurt a fly.

While there are others out there
Psychopaths
void of feeling, void of heart

We range from the frailest of flowers
to the devil himself
It all takes place in the brain

It is all Mind

The world has ended
but I woke
to the same dream

Perfume
Sweet perfume
What I would do to return
to the time of an innocent kiss.

Moon
Cold skin, clear night
Full moon watching
No confusion

I throw my hands up
I surrender
to the onslaught of more bad news
A drive-by
A homicide
A serial killer
Another mass murder

How proud we once felt
History at the Old North Church
Famous words "One if by land, and two if by sea"
Patriotic defense an impending attack
The Second Amendment
Now it could be the deranged individual
living down the street

The world is a crime scene.
Just put yellow tape around it
We all share some of the blame

Naked truth dies within
with every commercial on tv
with every gallon of gas pumped.
with every dollar spent
Naked truth dies within
with every lie told
with every word
written
or
spoken

Meditate

1
See what happens
when you follow your eyes
You may think
all boys are the same.
Maybe someday you will realize

I thought you loved me.
So much for that trust.
But I'm not about to cry about it -
that you went away.

Still when she left
she took pieces of me with her.

2
There is only fleeting hope
in this sea of sadness
among lies disguised
offer faint respite.

3
The only time is now
before vanishing into the future
Away from this land of desire
where time and place will mean nothing --
nothing at all

4
Sometimes a small difference,
makes all the difference.
Kisses are very different.

Fading . . .
This sad song is over.

Well, it's a marvelous night for an onsen
With the stars up above in the December sky
A fabulous night for awareness
Naked 'neath the cover of stars
and dim lights

Soaking naked
reflecting on how primitive we really are
I don't dare look about,
but who can help it
Men comparing our natural-born equipment

Behind the men's blue norin
Nude dudes letting it all hang out
From my eyes, men's bodies aren't very pretty
Boney and hairy
Fact is, the older you get, the worse you look

Men are so vulnerable when they are naked
Weak and shy,
dicks shrinking,
testicles swinging

The onsen exposes a male cover-up
Men covering their private parts with a midget's towel
But give a man some pants and a gun
suddenly he grows a giant
and behaves like Rambo

I'm careful so as not to slip and fall
Stepping on smooth wet rocks with my bare feet
I slip slowly into the water
until I’m neck deep

Totally immersed
Ah....am I one with the nature?
Am I Japanese?
This water is so fucking hot,
it's scalding me

Steam rises
My mind drifts
I try not to think
but that doesn't stop me
I bet, no I guarantee
I'm not the first man wanting to see--
wanting to peek over the wall
at female breasts and pubic hair

But it is dark
I probably couldn't catch a glimpse
Besides if I get caught, someone might bitch
Certainly think bad of this gaijin.

So I'm left here on my blue side
my stranger male onsen buddies and I
Yet quite alone, to soak my body, my mind
drifting up like the rising steam.
Wandering my tiny universe